after me was born out of a need to change the way we talk about death. 

Ironically, as I write this, I sit beside my Dad’s hospital bed. Again. For the countless times I’ve been by his bedside since the age of 4, after he was chronically injured in a car accident 32 years ago. He is in pain, but he tries not to let his life suffer. He’s why I’ve always embraced living life large. A reminder of how quickly it can all change.

I could write a novel as to what has led me here, bringing the dream of after me to life, but the short of it is that I grew up hearing my Dad ‘should have died’ in his accident, and my little brain worried he would die at any moment. This experience had gotten me so curious about mortality at such a young age. About life and death. And about how quiet everyone was about it.

And I’ve grown curiouser and curiouser, as they say.

I watched my Mum grow from ‘worrier’ to ‘warrior’ as she battled (and thankfully beat) breast cancer. I remember her being in a panic to explain her death wishes and how we stopped her short by saying, “Don’t worry about that yet Mum, you just keep fighting”, but knowing that she took those things left unsaid to bed with her every night not wanting to upset us.

I lost a dear friend to Ovarian Cancer at 28. She had so much to say. So much more to live.

A year later I lost a best friend in a tragic car accident when she was 29 and the most incredible mind I knew wasn’t here with us anymore. I’d do anything to have a snippet of her mind or message from her to me, to cherish.

I’ve been to funerals and I've planned funerals. And every time I was left wondering, “I hope that’s what they would have wanted”. Now we don’t have to wonder.

My “Why” is very clear. Her name is Harvie and she’s my daughter. I’m a single Mum and she lives with me. Every day I fear what impact my passing would have on her. The words that would remain unspoken and how would my legacy be kept alive to her?

So here is after me. A way to gift a piece of yourself when your loved ones need it the most. A place to share your thoughts, hopes and dreams for your dearest.

The thought of Harvie missing me and being able to read my words when I’m gone makes my heart sore. A good sore.

I really hope this can do the same for you. A gift from me to you.

Della Muscat

After Me Founder

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